Ghosts of Boyfriend/Wasband Past ~ Bachelorette Style

This morning as I laid in bed wondering how much more time I had left before my alarm would summon me out of bed, I started recalling the bizarre dream that I had just woken up from. The scenes that began to play out in my mind were quite amusing. I seriously need to lay off the jalapeno poppers before bedtime and maybe stop watching the Bachelor. 

Standing in front of me dressed in their finest attire stood,

The coach

The manager

The up and comer

The bar owner

The one who is not part of the funky bunch

The delivery driver

The family man

The major

It was like a scene right out of the bachelorette minus Chris Harrison and instead of a beautiful backdrop with candles, elaborate flower arrangements and background music….. we were in my living room. Now, for some reason instead of  choosing to wear a beautiful gown that would entice the men in front of me, I opted for a more comfy, less spanx restricted route. There I stood in yoga pants and my oversized Old Navy Hello sweatshirt. Staring at the men in front of me I understood why I didn’t bother to get all done up; they weren’t worthy of the effort. 

See, all these men had one thing in common, no not their penis size (Honestly,  I can’t even remember if their junk was the size of a gherkin or if they were hung like King Kong) what they all had in common was at one time they each had sworn to protect my heart like gallant knights but in the end chose to crush it with their bare hands.

Looking at each of these men I recalled just for a moment the lines they fed me, the lies they conjured up and the heartbreak that they caused but then as those thoughts began to form and cast a black cloud over the event I started to remember the person that I became after the heart break and the lessons that I learned. It was then something strange happened no, I didn’t blast them with an energy ball, I called each one of them up, one by one and began thanking them for coming into my life when they did because if it wasn’t for them, I honestly wouldn’t be who I am today.

I thanked them for being the coward that they were and not being man enough to stand behind their promises. I thanked them for the times they betrayed me because it allowed me to see them for who they were and to see what I wasn’t willing to put up with. I thanked them for their monstrous rages because it unveiled who they truly were and in that moment taught me not to engage the beast.

Through the darkness of the heartbreak I found strength, I found peace, I found hope, I established boundaries and most importantly, I found myself. 

So, instead of handing them a rose, like they do in the bachelor/bachelorette these men handed me back my heart and as I accepted my heart back I looked at them and said,

“I forgive you.” 

So moral of the story…..don’t watch the Bachelor while eating jalapeno poppers because you’ll only have your very own Ghosts of Boyfriend/Wasband Past dream.

7 thoughts on “Ghosts of Boyfriend/Wasband Past ~ Bachelorette Style

  1. Hmmm. Here’s my take…

    The coach – will watch sports ALL the time.

    The manager – will try to control you (hell to the no)

    The up and comer – Mommy issues

    The bar owner – FREE WINE

    The slacker – Hmm. Depends slacking on the dishes? Still moving along.

    The delivery driver – I have seen some damn fine UPS drivers…just saying.

    The family man – Depends if he has a family when coming to see you 😛

    The major – Major as in military? Well on the bright side the bed would be made.


  2. “I forgive you.” Those are powerful words. I loved where this went. I agree that every prince and louse has something to teach us f we are willing to learn. Last, I’ll never look at a gherkin the same way!


  3. lol…ah Jolene, you have just had a chat with your spirit within. More wisdom could not be found 😀
    Now the hard bit…you DO need to forgive them, as they have (with great love) shown you the journey to find you, just as you have done for them.
    Yes, we can say it on the surface because we can see that they did make us what we are today…ok, that’s not true either…they have helped us in how we have ‘created’ us from those circumstances. In the end it is the courage and love of ourselves that guide us inward, and make that change that our hearts have craved for so long. To go past those fears and finally understand the ‘why’ we have put them in place.
    It took me a very long time to forgive my dad, and myself for holding those patterns based on a lie I had told myself. When I saw that he too couldn’t help his journey because his dad had also treated him that way and he didn’t know any better, it all became clear 😀
    By the way, I didn’t get this post, spirit nudged me to come over. I’ll do a re-follow and see if it fixes it 😀


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