This morning as I laid in bed wondering how much more time I had left before my alarm would summon me out of bed, I started recalling the bizarre dream that I had just woken up from. The scenes that began to play out in my mind were quite amusing. I seriously need to lay off the jalapeno poppers before bedtime and maybe stop watching the Bachelor.
Standing in front of me dressed in their finest attire stood,
The up and comer
The bar owner
The one who is not part of the funky bunch
The delivery driver
The family man
It was like a scene right out of the bachelorette minus Chris Harrison and instead of a beautiful backdrop with candles, elaborate flower arrangements and background music….. we were in my living room. Now, for some reason instead of choosing to wear a beautiful gown that would entice the men in front of me, I opted for a more comfy, less spanx restricted route. There I stood in yoga pants and my oversized Old Navy Hello sweatshirt. Staring at the men in front of me I understood why I didn’t bother to get all done up; they weren’t worthy of the effort.
See, all these men had one thing in common, no not their penis size (Honestly, I can’t even remember if their junk was the size of a gherkin or if they were hung like King Kong) what they all had in common was at one time they each had sworn to protect my heart like gallant knights but in the end chose to crush it with their bare hands.
Looking at each of these men I recalled just for a moment the lines they fed me, the lies they conjured up and the heartbreak that they caused but then as those thoughts began to form and cast a black cloud over the event I started to remember the person that I became after the heart break and the lessons that I learned. It was then something strange happened no, I didn’t blast them with an energy ball, I called each one of them up, one by one and began thanking them for coming into my life when they did because if it wasn’t for them, I honestly wouldn’t be who I am today.
I thanked them for being the coward that they were and not being man enough to stand behind their promises. I thanked them for the times they betrayed me because it allowed me to see them for who they were and to see what I wasn’t willing to put up with. I thanked them for their monstrous rages because it unveiled who they truly were and in that moment taught me not to engage the beast.
Through the darkness of the heartbreak I found strength, I found peace, I found hope, I established boundaries and most importantly, I found myself.
So, instead of handing them a rose, like they do in the bachelor/bachelorette these men handed me back my heart and as I accepted my heart back I looked at them and said,
“I forgive you.”
So moral of the story…..don’t watch the Bachelor while eating jalapeno poppers because you’ll only have your very own Ghosts of Boyfriend/Wasband Past dream.