Find your tribe and love them hard.

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Last night before I went to bed I reflected upon my day, sure it started out rough….stepping in dog crap first thing in the morning should have been the precursor of how my day would have gone but I didn’t let it bother me, the unexpected snow storm that we got didn’t damper my spirits either considering my boots were in my car and as I continued on this positive road through out the day I found myself  later that evening on the phone with a man who at times I wanted to shove in a mud puddle, dunk him in tar and cover him in feathers. This man happens to be one of my best friends husbands.

The conversation was pleasant, I was actually walking him through the process of creating his own blog, giving him pointers and offering him helpful tips that I’ve learned in the last seven years of blogging. It was during the call that I came to realize that personal growth and forgiveness really played a part in all this. Because if this was a year ago, five years ago or even fifteen years ago I’d be telling him where to go rather than offering some help. See, we can all change. 

Even though his past actions were never directed towards me, my friends are my life. I protect them like a shield maiden protects her clan.

The older I get the importance of treasured friendships is something that I hold dear to my heart. I can count on one hand those friendships that mean the world to me. We have all seen one another at our worst and weathered the stormy seas together. A true friend will dislike the guy that has done you wrong right along side of you but will also have the guts to tell you when it’s time to stop the blubbering and toughen up while handing you a pint of ice cream, a glass of your favorite wine all the while talking about conjuring up a hexing spell or making jokes about his small appendage. Whatever works, right?

There are also those friendships that come into your life that teach you valuable life lessons. Those of which will test your own moral compass and make you question how much you will be willing to put up with. Sure no one is perfect and we all have are own little quirks but we also have our own boundaries that we need to adhere to.

If you refuse to be a doormat in your love relationship why be a doormat when it comes to your “friends”?

For myself, someones word is important to me and if you go against your word then we have a big problem. If you declare that I’m one of your closest friends and would do anything for yet overlook me when it comes to a memorable event of yours such as a baby shower, bridal shower, wedding than I will question the sincerity of your word. But I will shut you out like nobody’s business if you take what I am sharing as far as my feelings to you and turn it into a joke …… and let’s not even talk about when I protect your ass and wipe out every incriminating document from your emails and social media accounts so your spouse doesn’t find them and then you pretend that I don’t even exist or worse treat me like I’m your enemy.  *eye roll 

But again, I’m working on forgiveness so approach with caution and maybe have a pint of Ben and Jerry’s on hand. No peanut butter….gawd I hate peanut butter. 

I do wonder from time to time about those friendships that faded away over time…..

When I come across a kick ass shoe sale thoughts of Lillian come to mind. She’s the one who taught me a thing or two about shoe fashion and how to appreciate beautiful Italian boots.

When I’m wandering around a book store and find my eye drawn to The Heart of a Boy by Edmondo De Amicis I think of the person who treasured this book as a child. My fingers sliding down the spine of the book remembering all our conversations about life, love and our dreams.

My friendships have shaped me into the person that I am today. They have taught me patience, kindness, forgiveness and faith. Sure, they probably would like for me to be less abrasive or cut throat but I think they understand that over time it’s my armor from the battles that I have had to take on.

Regardless, they love me and I love them.

Forever and Always. 

Friends.

 

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