“Jolene, I pray and pray but God doesn’t respond. Can I ask you a question, did you ever think that you were making the wrong decision when you chose to leave, did you ever have moments of regret?”
I told my dear friend that I have never once regretted my decision to leave. In truth, it was the best decision that I have ever made. Something deep inside of me knew that I deserved better. That I was worthy of love of unfathomable amounts. Shit had to be better than what I was currently dealing with. Plus, life isn’t meant to be lived in constant sadness, worry or even anger. I knew I just had to take the first step and have faith that everything would work out and it DID!
God/Spirit doesn’t respond like you or I would prefer. We want our answer right then, we may even allow for a five minute leeway, we want our answer in black and white and maybe flashing on a billboard sign but seriously how many of us would sit there and question if that message was really for us?
God/Spirit/Universe hears our requests and prayers but it’s up to us to quiet our minds and actually listen.
“Jolene, I’ve prayed every day and still nothing.”
“But he has responded. Doors have been opened but you are refusing to see them. Didn’t you tell me last week that someone was going to arrange their space so you have a place to move to and didn’t you state that you will be able to start massage therapy again which will allow you to start up your practice. This will allow for you not to be dependent on your spouse. God is listening. The doors are open but you just need to take the first step. You have to do the work. He can’t move your feet for you but he will walk beside you the whole way.”
The first step is always the hardest because we are consumed with thoughts of doubt.
What if I fail?
What if this is a huge mistake?
What if I’m not supposed to do this?
What if everything falls apart?
What if everyone turns against me or hates me?
What if I lose everyone that I love?
What if this is my karmic lesson?
I’m not worthy of love.
Fear is just the biggest mother fucker in the universe. Sorry, but it’s the truth.
But think about this for a second.
What if you succeed, how fucking great would that be?
What if this step is what catapults you directly onto the path you were supposed to be on?
What if this is what you were led to do?
What if everything lines up and things fall directly into place?
What if the ones you love are inspired by your actions and look up to you and are so stinkin proud of the courageous step you took?
What if through all of this you see people’s true colors and realize how toxic they really are?
What if you actually experience the true sense of peace and wait for it……and what if you experience LOVE?
What if you get to experience love in its true form. This whole time you settled for someone you sorta loved, or stayed because you thought the kids would hate you or thought that he/she was your “soulmate” ….the only thing you did was just prolong meeting the one who loves ALL of you. Who is your home.
And when you change your perception and think of everything that could go RIGHT then that excitement bubbles up. You begin to gain confidence in your truth and can seriously feel the end result in the core of your being. Sure, that little nagging voice will pipe up and try to tear down your dreams and halt your forward momentum but you know what you do when that happens?
Give fear/doubt the middle finger and step into YOUR greatness.
“Jolene, what made you call me this morning?” my friend asked. “Well, to be honest I got that nudge from my guide to call you. I tried to ignore it but I can’t ignore him. So after the second, “Call Lisa” I complied. See, God knew you needed a little pep talk this morning.”
Trust me, there are times that I wish that God/Spirit/Guides would just spell it out for me or grant me my request at that very minute because I’m so flipping inpatient. But it doesn’t work like that, remember doors will open …..you just need to have faith in yourself and let the higher source work its beautiful magic.
You are worthy of love
You are deserving of happiness
You are the most precious person in this universe so step into your greatness and claim that shit!