Having the balls to remove the negativity from my life and stand firmly behind my decision wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. The first thing that I had to do was recognize those who drained me emotionally, who caused unnecessary drama and those who really didn’t serve a purpose in my life, most importantly I needed to stop making excuses for their behavior as well as my own.
Trust me, I wasn’t looking for a kumbaya moment but I was cleaning house. Sure some didn’t like my direct approach, but I wasn’t feeding into their bullshit either. I became known as the friend who didn’t sugarcoat things. Plus if you think about it, wouldn’t you want someone to give it to you straight rather than feeding you lines of bullshit just to ease your mind?
I was done with liars. I would often tell the wasband(s) I only asked them questions to see if they were telling me the truth, because I already knew the truth. I just wanted to see if they were man enough to own it. Truth be told, they never were. If they could stand in front of me and look me dead in the eye and conjure up a story, I knew right then I made a mistake.
I was done living for others and bending over backwards just to please those that actually didn’t give a damn. I realized not everyone was going to like me or even love me for that matter and you know what? I was and still am okay with that.
Once I started to release these people from my life I felt less weighted down, I no longer felt drained and speaking my truth felt so damn powerful. Sure, I had some that took my approach as raw, one even stated I was bitter……to which I replied, “Nope just better off knowing who to keep in my inner circle.” Truth hurts sometimes. I’ve had to come face to face with my truth and owning my mistakes…..hell I’m not even close to perfect nor will I strive for perfection. But I tell you this, once you remove yourself from toxic people and toxic environments you will be able to breathe again.
“Do you ever miss him?” my best friend asked.
“Not one bit. I don’t get lonely for him at night. I don’t glance at my phone hoping for it to ring. Leaving him was the best decision I ever made.”
“I don’t think I could ever do what you did, I mean…you just left everything behind and moved three hundred miles away.”
“Well, I didn’t let fear rule me anymore and when you are done living in the chaos and the bullshit you will leave too.” I told her.
Fear is the biggest bullshitter of them all. Fear escalates the what ifs and holds you back. Fear needs to be replaced with Faith.
Have faith in YOURSELF.