Can you honestly say that you can be your true authentic self around your friends, partner or co-workers without worry that they will judge you?
For the longest time I worried about what others thought about me, I still do to an extent. Hell, I still can’t stand up and give a presentation to save my life without having a full-out panic attack…..last week I begged a co-worker to do the presentation that I put together because I just couldn’t muster the courage to deliver the information. Anxiety just took over and tears welled up in my eyes. Fear had won this hand. One day I will find the courage to beat it but I’m in no hurry. I’ve overcome quite a bit in the last year soooooo this can wait.
Only a select few have gotten to see the real me. In the past ten years or so, I became real guarded with my thoughts, fears, loves, passions and my spirituality. Hell the wasband never even knew how diverse my spirituality was or dug deep to know my fears or passions…….come to think of it, I don’t think he ever asked. I hid my connection to Gaia and the spirit world, I never shared the pictures of the beautiful orbs or otherworldly glimpses that I was allowed to see through the lens of my camera and I most certainly didn’t tell him my run in with a spirit in our home. The wasband was more of a black and white type of man. If it wasn’t spoken about in the bible than it didn’t exist. If it didn’t fit his structured lifestyle then he had no desire to listen to your opinions. His thoughts were supposed to be your thoughts. Period. So he thought.
Earlier this year I was told that I needed to claim me again, to be proud of my true self and to do this I had to own my truth. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to own certain parts of my truth but in order to reach my full potential and stand behind my truth….. I had to speak it. I had to own it. No one knew of the secret I had kept for 21 years, it was one that I was simply okay with going to the grave with. No one knew, not my family, best friends, wasband(s) or past loves. No one. BUT see, the universe has a funny way of making sure you stay your course and one day my daughter flat-out asked me the question and this time, there were no lies … no tall tales. I was done. So I spoke my truth.
Do you know what happened next?
Well let me tell you what didn’t happen. No one judged me. For twenty years I allowed my mind to hold onto the fear of the unknown. I thought I would lose everyone that I held close to my heart. My story was heard and understood. There was no judgement. Just love. Unconditional love. It was on that day that I gave fear the middle finger and told it to fuck off. I finally could breathe.
What my secret was doesn’t truly matter. What matters is that I no longer have the skeleton in my closet. I no longer have fear whispering in my ear bringing on worry and unnecessary chaos.
I know that some of you are dealing with your own inner turmoil, fighting your own demons and allowing fear of the unknown to consume you. Fear is your worst enemy. Trust me. Everything that I thought was going to happen NEVER did. Yes, there was one person who got upset but this person took the timing of my truth personally which in turn was just silly, so I didn’t allow this persons reaction to get to me.
So, step away from fear and claim YOU.
YOU are so fucking worth it!!
It will be worth it in the end. Trust me.